A Conversation With Captain Clingy

Oliver - Hi, Mom!
Me - Hello, nudgy
O - Hi , Mom!
M - What do you want, I just let you out.
O - I'm just resting my chin on your lap while you play on the computer.
M - I'm not playing. I'm being very busy and important.
O - You're playing chess.
M - Why are you all over me right now? I just let you out two minutes ago.
O - I love going out. I also love shoving my nose under your arm with conviction. May I?
M - You're breathing in my face.
O - If I prance over to the other side of you and jam my nose under the other arm, is that less annoying?
M - What is your deal? You're a little annoying right now.
O - How about if I put my paws in your lap and stand up so my face is in yours.
M - Crap.
O - Well, you shouldn't have brought your knight out so soon.
M - You're breath stinks. Do you eat fish jerky when I'm not around?
O - No, but I do step in squishy things then lick my paws. Oh, I love rawhide. Remember the time you gave me rawhide? That was fun. Can I have another?
M - No more rawhide for you.
O - Why?
M - You barfed it up on the couch last night, remember?
O - Hi, Mom! (lick lick)
M - Do you need a scratch? How 'bout that? Is that good? Will you stop being a clingy toddler now?
O - Oh, good. Here's my butt. See? I'm wagging my butt in your face now. I'll stare up at you longingly now.
M - What is your deal? Are you out of food? Water?...No. You have plenty. I don't know what you need.
O - Oh, boy! I'm so excited I'll run in circles for no apparent reason now!
M - What's wrong, Lassie? Has Timmy fallen down the well again?!
O - Hi, Mom!