Common Ground

Give it up for Scott Strazzante - this baby kicks ass. (thanks for sending it, Debby!)
COMMON GROUND

Stuff 'n' Things

Today I went to my endocrinologist. Oddly, my HbA1c was improved over last time. I suspected it would not be given my recently ended diet of cuticles (my own) and Dove ice cream bars. I didn't tell her about that.

On my way home, I stopped at Greenwise to try and find some reasonably priced almond butter. Egads! No luck. But I did notice a sign above one of the isles which read, "Health Foods, Diabetic Foods" etc. That phrase always makes me chuckle. OK, maybe not always, but this time it did. "Diabetic Foods", like the food itself, is diabetic."My pickle ate too much carbohydrate! Quick give the pickle some insulin!"

In other news, it would appear my apartment wants me to move out, ASAP. Things are suddenly breaking. The other night, I had to pull a MacGyver to fix the toilet with some wire and this morning I opened the fridge and the lightbulb blew with a little POP!

Salem's Hompage

My good friend, Debby, who you can remember from here, here, and here, is going to visit me in Boston in September. We plan on going to the Cape, but in the case that we want to do something else at some point, I started looking around for things to do.
It's been so long since I've lived in my home state that I don't have any brilliant ideas, really. They'll come to me.

But, in researching historic shenanigans I came across the Salem, MA website and I just had to share it. The photo on the salem.org homepage changes, but I found the one I love online. I'm sorry it's so small...

Let's analyze it, shall we? First, I love the swooning woman in the middle with the blond hair. She's all (in a waif-like voice), " "No, I'm not a witch! I'm going to pass out to prove it to you!"
Then, there's the guy holding on to her. Well, coaxing her, really, who's all "Every thing's going to be OK. I'm just going to shove you in the lake quickly to check."
Then, I love the girl at the right who's lip is all curled-up. She's all, "Skip the water. I'm hungry for lunch. Let's just toss her on the stake and light the fire!" But she's saying it in pig-latin out of the side of her snarling mouth.

Well, That's Not Very Filling!

Leaving Publix grocery store today, I saw a sign outside a shop which read "two cheese slices and a can of soda - $2.99".
Considering it took me a moment to realize it was a pizza joint and not a deli, you can imagine my confusion.

Baruch Obama

Courtesy of one of my editors....

Laptop

I just bought a brand new MacBook Pro laptop.
I will not experience buyer's remorse. I will remind myself (over and over) that I don't have a laptop or computer of any kind aside from my work one. My work one, as we now know, will not be mine much longer. Neither will work.

I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag. I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag.
I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag. I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag.
I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag. I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag.
I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag. I will now not let myself shop for a neat laptop bag.

I Needed This Funny

I got this email from my friend (and co-worker, Thomas, after he received it from another coworker.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American
Courts, and are things people actually said in court,
word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said
to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the
next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old,
how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I
need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your
attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people. Would you like to rephrase that?
________________________________________________


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________


-- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been
alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law

Christian

I thought for sure he would eat them! (Thanks for sharing the video, Libby.)
Click Here to View

Little Friends

Some little ones we met during our walk on Palm Beach last night.

I Love What I Do For A Living

New Phone

I just got a new cell phone thanks to my parents' letting me join their family plan. I'm excited to have one. I've never had one before. The only cell I have belongs to the Post. So, really, I've never had a cell phone. This new one though is a Samsung, and I'm not sure I like it yet. It's very skinny and, I'm worried, possibly breakable. I did my research though - it had the most stars in the rating of phones within my price range, and it was affordable (aka- "free").

Looking at my new number, I do find myself wondering if it's a lucky number. Ah, it's the old learn a new number thing. What fun! I'm looking forward to those awkward moments when people ask for my number and I do the "Oh, it's 617-973-eight niner...wait. Hold on, it'll come to me"

This week-end was cleansing. Libby bought an end table of mine and three large garbage bags full of Halloween stuff (and I have three more which I'm keeping if you can believe it. I'm never parting with my two giant rats and the fog machine. They're too cool for school). I also collected-up some books and all of my VHSes and donated them to the local library for their book sale. This morning, I filled the back seat completely and dumped that stuff at Goodwill. So, while my apartment is not "clean" per se (I'm sorry, I'm Messy. Have we met?) it still feels good to get rid of some things. 'Helps release some for the stress I think.

Rachel and I are thinking about celebrating our first day of no work (lip quiver) and her birthday (hurrah!) by going snorkeling in the Keys or something. Little does Eliza know I will soon be asking if I can borrow her fins and snorkel gear. The fins and snorkel gear I just sold her last week.

It's Getting a Bit Harder

I must admit, it's getting harder. Some nights, I'm awake til 2 then up again at 7. The other morning, I woke too early and dragged myself to my TV. I tossed a pillow into the middle of the couch and lay there with my legs hanging over the arm rest. Oliver came in, hopped up on the other side of the pillow, resting his chin on his side of the pillow after giving me a swift lick on the forehead.

He's a bit anxious these days and I can understand.There is little schedule going on in our home lately. The other day, Eliza was over collecting up some free stuff and Oliver stood there between us, looking from me to her, from me to her, as if to say "Mom, she's taking our stuff!"

Eliza and her fiance Kenny were kind enough to host a little Ping-Pong inspired gathering Friday night. I had a total blast and of course, was thoughtful on the drive home.

I'm struggling with my move date, too. If I leave when I initially planned, there will be a full two weeks between my last day at work and my moving back north. That's a lot of free time. Too much, I think. As much as I want to spend time with my friends, it may be a bit too hard sitting around longer than it takes for me to pack-up my stuff. I mean how slow is too slow when removing a band-aide?

There's the whole job hunt situation too. I'm doing none of that right now. I feel like I want to be "present" during my remaining time at The Post. I still work for The Post. That's still my job. I also feel like a little downtime won't kill me. That said, I doubt I'll find myself a job within a few weeks and from a remote location anyway.

It's as if I want to just be here when I'm here, even though I'm doing all sorts of things - researching laptops, getting a cell phone, donating to Goodwill (and my friends) in preparation for my leaving. Perhaps there's a little bit of feeling like I will be ready to move in another direction and get a new job/career once I'm in another location.

Anyway, there's definitely a sense of everybody wanting to be around each other a little bit more. Kind of like how at Christmas time, if people aren't totally stressed out, they're a little nicer to each other.

It's nice. But then you walk away from the conversation in the photo department, or the ping pong match, or the dinner and a movie, and I feel sad. Terrified because I have no idea what's going to come my way or what's going to happen to me, and worried about my friends and coworkers. I wonder what will happen to them, too.

You're Not the Boss of Me!

Photographers, especially ones who know what they're doing, love it when their subjects tell them how they should be photographed. They also enjoy being called "Cindy" over and over when their name is not "Cindy".

Freakish Bike and More

I received an email today. My buy out, and all of my coworkers who offered to take one, has been accepted. The next stage is to fill out the paperwork to confirm that I am taking the buy out. When I came into the office today, I was told my editor was looking for me, with the yellow finalization paperwork in his hand. I have until the 11th of August to sign it really, so I must say, I felt the door was being a bit smacked into my back on the way out.

Still, I got an estimate from Allied moving company. As it turns out, the cost of a UHaul (con hassle and trolling the car) really comes out to be the same price.

Today felt final though. People are now VERY openingly talking about things. Why didn't this person take the buy out? What about the sports department? I heard very few took it. What will they do with all the people in sports? Did you hear - there are only three reporters left in Npost when this is all done! Etc.

One coworker friend came to me and asked me when I was going. Talking about it was odd and surreal. And upsetting. I didn't like it. I far prefer organizing my to-do list than talking about reality.

Tonight, I was at the office late and I was chatting with my pod-mate, Lannis. Just about work and wondering what they'll do about this and that. About family and the items I'm trying to sell. It struck me how much I will miss my little chats with Lannis and my other pod- mates.

A friend told me about a dream he had. We were going for a bike ride. I had given him a motorcycle which would only drive straight. I took off on my bike, and he couldn't get the motorcycle started. "There she goes" he thought to himself and told me, "That's the first thing I thought of when I woke up - 'There she goes' "

I promised him I wouldn't give him a crappy, freakish bike that wouldn't turn (or any bike for that matter). and he told me, "Just don't turn back."

Felicity

I love watching Felicity when things are mediocre in life. There's something about the perfect lighting. But, you know you're thoughtful when you get teary over the intro segment of Felicity with it's swooney music and documentary style black and white still shots.

The Chaos That Is Reorganizing

Not to be confused with "Flash IN the Pan". I found this from when I won POY a looooong time ago.

Buy Out

As you can probably tell from some of my elusive posts lately, I have accepted the buyout from The Palm Beach Post. Or, rather, I've handed in my paperwork for it. The next step is for it to be accepted, then I have to hand-in final paperwork. There's always that chance it won't be accepted. If that's the case, cool, I have a job, but it is unlikely.

My plan is to head back up to Boston and live with my parents while I figure out my next move. I hope to stay in the Boston area, but we'll see. The possibilities are scarce and endless simultaneously. For the time being though I will enjoy chilling out for a little bit before the storm of trying to figure out how to have a career hits.

I have been selling things in anticipation of moving. I'm hoping craigslist comes through for me. I started listing things, mostly furniture, last night and was shocked to get responses to quickly. Now, I'm in this but I need my couch til I leave mode.

While I am stressed and finding it difficult to sleep sometimes, I'm OK with my decision for the most part. I'm, sure I won't always feel that way. I have times on my week-ends where I'm bored and can't wait to get back to work. It will be interesting to see how much I crawl in my own skin with nothing to do for quite a while, let alone a week-end.

The other challenge is finances. I'm trying to do moving company research, plus I have to think about things I need to buy. I have no camera gear at all without the paper. No laptop either.

For now, the to do list is keeping me away from the panic list.

Selling Things

If you're local...
buy one of these

or one of these

Please?

Iguanna

Itty Bitty Vid

Just a brief one.
RPB Recreation Cultural Center

Robert Redford

I'm looking forward to stress-free, restful nights, but I wonder when they will come. This morning, I woke at 4:30 and didn't go back to sleep til about 6. I then dreamt I was in a city somewhere, back in the 1960s. The dream was in black and white which is unusual for me. I was a photojournalist, working for Robert Redford. A young The Way We Were / All The President's Men Robert Redford. But, in the dream, I was conscious of my future because I had been here already.

I covered some kind of upheaval in the city. A riot or something. Then, I had to seek out a shop to develop my photos cause I was shooting on negs.

I was talking with my editor, Robert Redford, while walking quickly together through some building when we passed a woman. He said something work related to her and she went on her way. I asked him who she was and he gave me the name of a person I know in the future. I burst into tears seeing someone who I know from the present day.

I don't remember much more than that. Kind of lame. Things have been pretty crappy these days, I could have at least made out with my editor (the young Redford, NOT my real one).

A Conversation With Captain Clingy

Oliver - Hi, Mom!
Me - Hello, nudgy
O - Hi , Mom!
M - What do you want, I just let you out.
O - I'm just resting my chin on your lap while you play on the computer.
M - I'm not playing. I'm being very busy and important.
O - You're playing chess.
M - Why are you all over me right now? I just let you out two minutes ago.
O - I love going out. I also love shoving my nose under your arm with conviction. May I?
M - You're breathing in my face.
O - If I prance over to the other side of you and jam my nose under the other arm, is that less annoying?
M - What is your deal? You're a little annoying right now.
O - How about if I put my paws in your lap and stand up so my face is in yours.
M - Crap.
O - Well, you shouldn't have brought your knight out so soon.
M - You're breath stinks. Do you eat fish jerky when I'm not around?
O - No, but I do step in squishy things then lick my paws. Oh, I love rawhide. Remember the time you gave me rawhide? That was fun. Can I have another?
M - No more rawhide for you.
O - Why?
M - You barfed it up on the couch last night, remember?
O - Hi, Mom! (lick lick)
M - Do you need a scratch? How 'bout that? Is that good? Will you stop being a clingy toddler now?
O - Oh, good. Here's my butt. See? I'm wagging my butt in your face now. I'll stare up at you longingly now.
M - What is your deal? Are you out of food? Water?...No. You have plenty. I don't know what you need.
O - Oh, boy! I'm so excited I'll run in circles for no apparent reason now!
M - What's wrong, Lassie? Has Timmy fallen down the well again?!
O - Hi, Mom!

Ungrateful Lucky Kid

Tonight I watched a TiVoed episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. The crew was helping a marine who lost his leg during service in Iraq, then returned home only to have his heartless wife leave him one year later with four kids and a shitty run-down un-handicapped accessible home in which to raise them.

I watched the beginning to get the gist of the story, then skipped to the end to see the reveal of the home. The kids unfortunately seemed a little vacuous. They are young, the oldest is nine, but still, you'd think they'd show some enthusiasm for the situation. They aren't dumb, I told myself, they're overwhelmed..

After checking out their rooms and such, they all stood together in their tricked-out garage while Ty got them riled-up for the next phase, "How do you like it so far!?" he yells at them.
"Yay! We love it!" Dad says, children staring blankly.
"Wanna see some more?!" Ty asks excitedly.
"Yeah!" yells Dad.
"Let's go!" yells Ty, as he turns to lead them all out the door.

Then I do a double-take. What did I just see? I'm sure I must be mistaken, so I rewind. Yup, I did see correctly. While Ty is getting everyone excited about the next phase of the reveal, the seven year old girl is kicking him in the shins! Repeatedly. Ty clearly has chosen to ignore her, because he just continues on like nothing is wrong. Kicking the host in the shins.

Way to show your appreciation, kid.

Rawhiiiiiiiiiide!

My friend Rachel and her girls gave Oliver a rawhide bone during their recent visit to Flori-duh. Oliver has never quite grasped rawhide. I would hold it out for him and he'd give it a few licks and return back to his own paws.

This time, I put one end in hot water to juice it up a bit. Finally, he's got it! I don't know why I'm so excited about this new development. It's not like it's freaking Baby Einstein for dogs or anything! It's as if I feel it will help entertain him when I'm not at home. I'm just happy he has a pastime. Even if he does tend to come right up to me and burp in my face afterwards.

Bicycle

Bicycles. I was listening to the radio and a guy was telling a story on This American Life about how when he was twelve, his dad walked downtown with him and bought him a bike. On his bike ride home on his brand new bike, he stopped in a convenient store to play a video game. When he came back out, the bike was gone. He walked home terrified and arrived there to find his father had stolen it to teach him a lesson.

It got me thinking about my various wheels as a kids. At six I would tear up and down our street on my Big Wheels. If they had them in adult size today, I think I might seriously considering investing in one. When I was eight, we took a summer vacation in Poccasset Cape Cod and my cousin Andy, taught me how to ride a two wheeler. I think it may have consisted to sending me down a long gradual hill.

One of my best friends when I was a kid was a boy down the street named Andy. He was two year younger than me and we hung-out all the time. We built forts, played in their family pool, built some more forts. I remember in the winter once, sitting on his porch making a fake fire. We were breaking up sticks and he was yanking at the branch on one of the sticks he was trying to break-up. I knew what was going to happen by the angle of the stick. I don't know if it occurred to me to say anything or if it just happened too fast, but the little part of the stick in one hand broke and the other, he jammed straight up his nose. I remember the blood gushing down his snowsuit while he wailed.

I digress. Come summer, Andy and I lived on our bikes. I likely rode a boys bike, considering I wanted to be a boy at the time. We would ride around the neighborhood and take special pleasure in the back parking lot of the library. It was a tiny place, but there was one step from the back door which had, on the other side, a handicap ramp. Awesome.

A year or so later, my favorite black and yellow checkered Huffy was stolen from the bike rack at front of the library. Another time, I went to the garage to find my bike and it wasn't there. I was convinced someone had stolen it and was a bit embarrassed when I found it in the neighbor's yard where I had left it a few days before when I was playing there.

In high school, or middle school, my ten speed (which I treated like a dirt bike) was stolen again. I went to the police station to report it. The cops told me they had some bikes brought in recently. They took me to their bike holding facility and I spotted it right away. "Can you prove it's yours?" he asked. I wouldn't' thinking I could really, but I immediately remembered the tear on the underside of one of the handle bars. He was impressed. He handed it over to me.

I used to ride my bike for miles to the soccer practice fields. I kind of hated doing that actually. Who wants to ride after they're hot and tired from practice? I rode a bike to school for a while. My friend Rachel and I, when we were particularly attached at the hip in middle and early high school, would ride bikes to meet in between where our two homes met, so we could talk and complain about the trials and tribulations of being in middle school or early high school. Now I ride my mountain bike grudgingly, for excercise.

I wonder when that shift happened; when the freedom and fun my bike gave me became a tiring mode of transportation.

Funniest Quote of the Night

From Rachel, "That guy has a master's degree in creepy."

Gag Reflex

BAD DOG!

Toys

I WISH I GOT TO DO THIS ONE

Going Away

Tonight my coworker T was kind enough to host a going away party for our photo intern, Lucas, also known as "Lead Analyst" in the ridiculous yet oddly popular Fireworks Testing video I did with Thomas and Lucas the other night.

The party was so nice. It was great to be around my coworkers. Over the past few years, I feel like there has been far less hanging out going on. I think it can often be a case of I hung out with them all day, I have nothing more to talk about! But, I think these days, with a buyout deadline and exiting of coworkers fast approaching, with the threat of layoff right on it's heels, people are grateful for a bit of chat time outside the office.

A while back I decided that I wanted an I (heart) the Palm Beach Post t-shirt and Rachel kindly obliged by making a little iron-on with her printer and fancy paper. I got a few compliments on the shirt. Quite a few people said I should sell them...(Rachel - I'd split it 50-50, just FYI). But then other people were coming up with different slogans. Like F#@K the Palm Beach Post. for example. Uma's suggestion was my favorite "How about Friends don't let friends read the Sun -Sentinal"?

For those of you not from the area, The S-S is out competitor.

We all gathered in T's back yard for a group photo and then periodically, someone would breeze by the laptop which displayed the chosen portrait and let out a sentimental "awwwwwwe".

There was lots of buzz about Puppet and her fireworks antics. One coworker told me "I didn't realize it was you until I recognized the style of humor!"

As much as it is a completely silly thing, I'm glad people have gotten a kick out of it. I think people maybe need a chuckle right now. Even if it's at the expense of a puppet on fire.

Weird Sign

I was driving home from an assignment last week when I say a banner. It read, along with a number "Chinese Girl, Massage Therapist"

Does anyone else find that strange?

LA Times

As my editor wrote when he sent this out... "Misery loves company".
CLICK HERE TO READ

Local News

4th of July

I've been having a fairly free week this week assignment-wise. I've been enjoying shooting video so I let the head of that team know I was available to shoot video if needed. She called me to her desk and told me they would like to have a fireworks testing video done. The premise was to get some interns together and get them in lab coats giving commentary on some store bought collections of fireworks.

I went to one of our interns but he seemed relatively unimpressed with the idea...and boring. Boring doesn't work when you need colorful commentary.

I was chatting with Thomas about the idea and he said he would help me with it. We brainstormed a bit and I blurted-out that I thought using a puppet with the intern would be funny. "Go storyboard and I'll be by at 7" said Thomas, who would be coming with props, gear and an intern to make some flames in my backyard.

Obsessed with the puppet idea, I went home and sewed some puppets. I made two of "Puppet" (I couldn't think of a more clever name on the spot) because I intended to have some fireworks lighting incident with her.

The boys (and in this scenario, I do mean boys because the project was like being back in my childhood basement making stupid sketches with my high school buddies) showed-up and we scampered to collaborate something together as the yard got darker and the mosquitoes bit more (I counted 41 bites on one foot the next morning).

We took it in to Aisha, video editor extraordinaire, and that was that.
CLICK HERE AND HAVE A SAFE ONE!

There's now talk of doing a series with Puppet...when she recovers completely.

July Masthead