You Get What You Give

This morning I was a the Cleveland Clinic people-watching in their vast window lit lobby while Suzanne and Joe, who works at the CC, took their littlest to the allergist.

As an employee of the Clinic headed out the door, a fellow employee fixed the tag hanging out of the back of her shirt. The two exchanged some friendly words and he made her laugh.

I wish I was one of those types who could brighten someones day with a simple interaction. It's not that I feel I am perpetually grouchy, and it's true that I am out of practice and opportunity after a long time away from interacting with strangers for a living, but I do believe in the importance of sending good vibes out into the world. I just don't think I'm very good at it.

Which gets me thinking about the idea of "you get what you give". I feel like I have a lot to give. I have a lot I want to give, but life has not brought the chance for me to give for good. For always. I'd like that. But perhaps that's my doing? Whatever. That's a blog entry for another day.

Branching off that - I think some people do give off something into the world that results in doors being opened for them. I knew someone years ago who once sat on her front step, determined that something good would happen that day. Some neighbor (I don't remember the details), asked her to stay in his huge home for the summer collecting his mail while he was gone the whole time. And to make the story more serendipitous, she was in need of a place to stay.

Maybe to be that way - have tons of things happen to you, you have to be over-the-top like she was. All the time. She fell-in love with someone new every three weeks. I did have some envy in that, but I also recognize it's just not who I am. She married a foreigner in return for rent payment so he could get his green card (and she actually held a wedding reception!). She attempted to "save" her sister by traveling to her middle eastern country and bringing her an American to marry and bring her back. The sister refused to be saved and she fell in-love with the husband she'd gotten for said sister. Well, fell in-love for a little while.

She attempted to be a chocolatier, a master of yoga. She talked about running a B&B. In Italy. There was more (although I think I could have stopped at marrying for the green card), that made her fascinating and completely exhausting.

I remember her withholding personal information which would prevent her from being chosen for a jury in a local trial. Not only did she fib to get on the jury but she then volunteered to be foreman in the case she should have had nothing to do with considering her past traumas. I had little sympathy for her when the experience "wrecked" her.

Lots of things happened to her, good and bad, because she chose the paths which would result in the best story. She would jump into things and perhaps "suck the marrow out of life" (in my opinion, in this instance, she was actually "biting off more than she could chew").

I've never been one to think doors would just open for me. I always thought I would work hard and open the doors I was meant to go through (which then leads me to wonder what's "meant" for me and why am I chained to the idea of it?). I wonder if I can learn, or make a conscious effort to send out good vibes that would help open doors I wouldn't normally consider going through?

And now my head hurts.