Thursday, April 22, 2010

Pre-Op Anesthesiology

I went to Mass Gen hospital today. I feel very sad and wasn't sure I could keep my shit together for the two hours that was required to get everything done. Lab work, questionnaires, etc. My surgery was supposed to happen tomorrow, but has been moved to Monday.

Loneliness is a shit emotion. A cruel one, too, because you can feel it even when surrounded by loved ones.

I sat there in that little room, answering questions, holding it all in. Trying to keep my feelings from brimming over, embarrassing me and making others uncomfortable.

"Do you drink alcohol?"
"No," I answered.
"Do you smoke?"
"No," I answered.
"Feel light headed or dizzy?"
"No," I answered.
"Experiencing any shortness of breath?"
"No," I answered.
"Feeling any pain in your heart?"
"No," I lied.

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