Abridged outline. Some of these chapters will have no text as the titles say it all.
1. His Breakfast Bloody Mary Isn't Spicy Enough!
2. He Doesn't Feel It Neccesary To Put In Enough Money To Pay for His Own Meal.
3. The Erotic Poet...or Not
4. His Five Year Old Daughter Doesn't Have Personality and As Such Isn't Worth Talking About.
5. The Ball Cap Wearing F-Bomb Dropper
6. The Desparately Awkward One Who Wouldn't Stop Squirming In His Seat and Checking His Phone
7. Apparently We've Been Dating For Six Months Already The Way He's Treating Me on This Second Date.
8. According to Him, I'm Warming To Him Because My Elbow Touched His Elbow.
9. He Doesn't Want to Date Me, He Just Wants To Date SOMEONE!
10. He Is So Very Nice and Smart and Interesting But I Simply Can't Get Past His Weak Chin No Matter How Much I'd Like To
11. He Was Much Shorter Than His Profile Claimed
12. Our Four Dates Were Weeks Apart. Get On With It Already.
13. The Worst Sense of Humor Ever. There's No Such Thing as "An Oreo Murderer" in The World of Humor of Elsewhere.
14. There Was No Interest In Either Direction, But We Still Sat and Ate Ice Cream. Calories I Will Never Get Back.
15. The Phone Date Who Said He Wanted To Meet In Person but Then Never Followed-Up. Thirty minutes I could have been watching an episode of Orange Is The New Black
16. He Was Definitely OCD and Creepily Insisted on Referring To His Friend's Eight Year Old Daughter as "A Woman" For "PC" Reasons.
17. The Amalgam Date Series 1- He Has Nothing To Contribute To The Conversation Despite My Best Efforts to Provide Him Opportunity
18. He Said he Would Call To Set Up Another Date and Didn't. I didn't mind until I ran into him on the BU campus and he said he'd get in touch (again) which is really just silly. I don't want to be in touch, and by the way, find our own street to walk on.
19. The Harvard Grad Who Borrowed My DVDs And When It Was Clear I Wasn't Going To Hear From Him Again, I Was Mostly Just Pissed to Have to Figure Out How to Get My Movies Back
20. Nope. You're Just Too Young, Dude.
21. Um, Do NOT "baby" Me. We Just Met. (Check Please!)
22. Body Odor and Brown Teeth. Retirement Being Considered
No comments:
Post a Comment