Work

I'm a bit concerned that I am experiencing some denial. I am aware of what's going on at work. HERE'S A REMINDER. Somehow, I am convinced everything will be OK. Perhaps I'm convinced everything will be ok for me, though I may feel differently after a few weeks living at my parents' place should I choose to take the buyout. Not that my parents aren't wonderful, they are. It's just that I'm 32. And single. And living with my parents.

Last night, a Pity Party was thrown in response to the latest shake-up in our building. People talked elusively about whether or not they would be taking the buyout. Over whether or not they would take it should they be eligible.

I have been working a lot which I'm enjoying. I need to remind myself that I may not be doing this for much longer. I need to remember to absorb it, without driving myself into a depressive stupor.

I do love what I do. I would miss what I do.

Looking across the newsroom last week, there were little clusters of people kibitzing all over. Work was getting done, but it was secondary I think, to consoling each other and helping each other through the five stages of grief. Those who are eligible for the buyout and are considering it are finding themselves wondering; If I decline a buyout and make it through the next round of layoffs and perhaps another one after that, what will it all look like when all the dust settles and the rubble is carried away (though I don't know who would be left to clean-up said rubble)? It's not the place many of us were hired to join.

I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. I'm just expressing how completely bizarre and strange this all is. People who have dedicated their entire lives to bringing stories of the community to area readers have to find something else to do to make money because somehow, in the downpour of reality TV, advertisers, celebrity gossip, and society's lack of patience and desire for instant info gratification, most of America walked away from wanting to know the truth.

It is a reporter's job to piss you off. It is their job to show you that things are not what you think they are, that changes need to be made, that the politician you voted for isn't the perfect choice you thought they would be, that you have neighbors living in squalor, that your schools are not doing what your taxes are paying them to do, and so on.

There has been lots of talk about journalism leaving the newspaper business. That all it's about these days is making money, getting advertisers, trying to find a way to get well into the black.

Tell them what they want to hear is not what journalism is. And thus, journalism is changing. Or, journalism is leaving and something else is taking it's place.

And now I am reminded why I feel OK. If I actually think about it, it's too daunting for my brain to "get". So, I just don't get into it.