Captain Picky may get junk in the trunk after all

It started months ago when I brought Oliver to the vet for the
eleventy trillionth time for his allergies. Dr. Garcia took one look
at him and said, "He's too skinny. You can feed him more".

Once I got over my complex that I was a terrible mother (no wire
hangers!)  I looked forward beefing up my little boney wimplette.

But about a month ago, he stopped eating normally. I would set his
food out and maybe he'd eat some and maybe he wouldn't. I tried adding
rice in and that worked one day but not the following. I even resorted
to sitting on the floor and teaching him that if he eats some of the
kibble, he can have another scrumptious, tiny piece of cheese. Isn't
THAT wonderful!?  That, he understood and enjoyed. Christ, it's
cheese, who wouldn't?

But I ain't livin' a life of cheese sharing.

I called the vet and the vet tech, May, said he may be bored with his
food. I could get another brand and start to introduce the new kibble
slowly (otherwise, they get sick).

So, I mixed a bit of new kibble in and he turned his nose up at it and
looked up at me, "News flash lady, it's STILL boring."

OK, I'll try something else. I read online that it's smart to put the
food down and take it away within a minute if they don't start eating.
They learn schedule and learn that if they don't eat now, they won't
eat.

He went a day and a half with no food.

The morning after the first foodless day, I woke to the sound of
little puppy barfing in the kitchen. Concerned that he was sick and
that this wasn't just a random puking incident, I called the vet and
made an appointment for later that morning. When I grabbed his leash
to take him for a stroll he did his typical bouncing off the walls
going-for-a-walk dance.

This is NOT a sick dog.

I called again and told May I really didn't want to be taking him in
for a (over-priced) visit unless he seems sick or lethargic. Which he
hadn't been. Get him a Zantac, she said, he may have been throwing up
because of heartburn.

I gave my dog Zantac....I gave my DOG Zantac.

And then she told me something I really didn't want to hear. Oliver
may just be a picky eater. You may have to cook him some rice and meat
and mix it in.

I have been trying to wean him off the kibble and wet food combo
because I thought, He's a dog! The wet food thing is a pain in the
ass. Just eat your kibble, damn it.

But, that night I folded. Its three parts kibble, one part rice and
ground beef. And we have found the magic combo. His bowl was cleaner
than it has ever been after I've washed it.  And, he took pleasure in
returning to the bowl from time to time just to lick at it and
remember the luscious fun he'd had earlier in the evening.

The I-used-to-live-on-South-Beach-and-you're-crazy-if-you-think-
kibble-is-good-enough-for-me brat has finally eaten! I hear the chorus singing!

The day after I had made a little tub of the magic mixture, I took it
out of the fridge to mix it with his morning food. Thank the mighty
Picky Eater god that he likes it cold too, but cause if little punk
needed it heated to eat, we would have had to have some words.