This is TMI but it's relevant to the story so I need to share. I don't shave my armpits, I wax them. Shaving has always hurt my skin and waxing last longer. So, it's what works for me. I was do for a little clean-up, so before getting in the shower, I waxed. I put the strips into the sink to soak off the sugar-based wax and hopped in the shower.
When I got out later -my shower was a bit longer than usual because I decided to clean the tub a bit since I was in there already (don't judge, it makes sense!) - I stepped out of the tub and into a puddle. Or, at least I thought it was just a puddle, at first, but then I realized that in truth, it was a very shallow pool, like the the kind you find in public areas of Boston so kids can cool off in summer. The only difference being that mine didn't suddenly spray a fountain into the sky at random and oh, the one's in Boston are OUTSIDE!
The culprit? Here's where you guess - you were cleaning your tub like a responsible home owner and the water seeped out! Yeah, that's what I thought, too, but no, I'd left the sink faucet on. I scrambled to shut it off and stood there, naked and wet, in slight shock and struggling to process. The water wasn't running over the edge of the sink so why the pool in the floor of the bathroom?
I heard Harlow getting in to something downstairs and hollered "What are you doing!!??" and as the sink drained I realized the water was coming from under the sink. The "safety" drain couldn't keep up with the rush of water and it was just spewing out somewhere underneath, drenching my trash bin and accessory shelves (soggy cotton balls - ew).
I heard Harlow messing around again downstairs "STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING!!!" I was surprised because she doesn't really get into things anymore and she's never been a dog who climbs up on counters.
I realize I'm still naked and wet and as such merely contributing to my own private wading pool, so I grab the only towel on the rod and begin to dry off a bit, which feels weird as I am standing in a half inch of water. I slosh my way out into the hall, get my hair up in the towel and go downstairs, pale-ass naked, to get a mop. Don't ask why I did it this way, I literally couldn't think through the proper steps to take at this point and covering up somehow didn't seem like a priority in the moment.
As I headed to the kitchen to get my mop to clean up the bathroom, I grab another towel hanging at the bottom of the banister (what luck!) to wrap myself up. I hear a pop, and realize that Harlow "getting into something" was actually the lights over the island in my kitchen popping out because there WAS WAS A WATERFALL IN MY KITCHEN FROM THE DAMN SINK FAUCET BEING LEFT ON ONE FLOOR ABOVE!
I'm talking torrential downpour. As I take all this in, wondering where the hell to even start (SHUT OFF THE LIGHT!) I absently dry myself with the towel I grabbed on the way downstairs and wander around the island, dumb-founded and slightly paralyzed. I mean, the water is off, and the waterfall continues!
As I assess the situation, it hits me - the towel I am absently drying my body with is the same towel I use to dry my dog off after her outdoor bath an hour earlier. GAH!
I start by throwing the crappy dog towel onto the island to soak some water and catch what's still coming down and head back upstairs, get my hair up and out of the way, put on some clothes and oh yeah get that insulin pump I forgot about (silly 'betic), and return to the kitchen to mop, put out pans and cookie sheets depending on the angle, location and severity of the dripping (which is continuing).
Now it's later. The lights are off, I have put tape over the kitchen switch to keep myself from turning it on absent-mindedly, the breakers have been turned off, counter, floors, trash bins, accessory drawers, dog items stored on the island and various other collateral damage items have been dried up, cleaned or pitched. By the way, NYC brand make up may be cheap, but their compacts are crazy water tight!
And now I'm going to have drink.
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