Absentee Mom

Let me start by saying that I am a firm believer that not everyone should have kids. I know women who do not want kids and don't plan on having kids.  I also know women who didn't really want kids and then had them and do not regret it one bit. They had their challenges, but they ultimately love their kids and are great Moms.  I think both scenarios are fine. In each the woman took what they ultimately decided on and ran with it.


I have mixed feelings about this woman though. This woman had children, took a long business trip, then decided she didn't want to be a mom anymore. She divorced her husband and left her kids to live her life string-free. I understand how a person could lose who they are as a result of being a parent. I don't personally have a good example of this because my Mom always made a point to retain her individuality. She was always there for us but she always had her own life too. She may not have always felt that way, I'm sure, but we were her everything while not being her everything somehow. But she's impressive and I digress.


Would she have been a god mom if she stuck it out? Perhaps not so really, maybe it's best she bailed, but my argument is...having kids is kind of a commitment. You bring them into the world so that's the deal. You stay. Especially if you aren't a drug addict or beat the crap out of them or what have you (is keeping kids you don't want abuse? I don't know. It could be if the kids know it.)



The part that irks me most is when she's all "Well, when I have time with them I am completely focused on them. I'm not checking email or distracted" and then goes on about how the SIX hours she has with them a week is real quality time. She can be a good mother to them.  Really? Six hours? You spend six hours with your kids and think you're being a good mother during that time? Anyone can be a good mother for six hours. That's not even visitation. To me, that's babysitting. There's no disciplining going on during that time, no bedtime stories, no real time for traditions to be made (I mean, the kids are teenagers now but I think you know what I mean).


I understand that I have not read her book and I'm sure it's far more complicated than I can imagine. But, this is a blog, not journalism, so I can vent.


The only example she's setting for them (aside from how incredibly selfish someone could be), the only message, is that she can only spare six hours for her flesh and blood.


Now the other side of this is, a father who does the same thing is considered an absentee father (or maybe an asshole) but it's not criticized as much by society. People might say that the kids are better off without their lame dad. But a mom who bails? Somehow it's just not as "acceptable". Once again then men get a type of social leniency.

I think this woman is using the excuse of "my kids are better off without me because I can't be a good parent" so that she can going on being selfish.

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