Restless

I don't know what to do with myself these days. I'm not sleeping well. My nights are freckled with stress dreams which I don't remember but know exist. Last night wasn't so bad. I have the late shift at work today which allowed me to sleep in. not something I can typically do but for whatever reason, I was able to get an extra half hour this morning. I'm worried about my eyes. The blephoritis has cleared I think, but I can't help but feel like my vision is not as sharp as it was two months ago.

is it possible that everything does actually fall to shit when you turn forty?

And the thing most troubling. The gun violence. 50 people dead. Not knowing what else I could possibly do, I signed petitions asking for the banning of guns of various kinds. I shared it on FB in case others felt helpless too, and stated that I admittedly didn't know if it would help at all.

Of course, the discussion started. On and on people went about their thoughts on gun control. One person stating laws and such. I don't really care. I'm not interested in debating so I haven't been part of the conversation. I respectfully agree to disagree, end of story. I'm not going to change someone's mind and I'm not interested in trying to.

I'm sure there are tons of ways people can get guns if there were laws against them, and violence would happen and on and on. I also know that the major factor in all this is our country's violent nature in general. It is part of our culture to judge and hate and act, it would appear.

It just makes me very sad. And leaves me feeling very helpless.