Healing

I went to see my doctor on Monday. A two week check-up after my surgery. I'm kind of sorry I asked for a copy of the xray (see June Masthead), as I am now all to aware of the metal in my shoulder, accompanied by the massive screws.You'll see that the plate bends at the end, on the right. The bone on the tip was too small to attach normally to the plate, so the surgeon had to wrap the tip with the metal and then run that massive screw back through the small piece of bone.

When I saw my physical therapist today and we chatted before he started torturing me in an effort to help get rid of my frozen shoulder, we talked about the massive screws. How do they get those big screws into the little bone. They make a hole with a drill first. Yikes. Again, 'not sure I needed to know.

So, my PT was very unpleasant today as I spent much of it on my back with Andy, my PT, gently bending my arm back to create an excruciating pain like no other. I almost cried, I kid you not.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"No, it hurts." I answered.

"On a scale on one to ten, what is it? A fifteen?"

Well, at least he knows the pain I'm experiencing.

The interesting thing is that once I got home and the soreness of the session subsided, I felt a lot better than I have in weeks. My shoulder gave me the least amount of trouble today.

Last night, I watched the documentary called, "Young @ Heart" about a Massachusetts choir of older folks who sing rock songs. Pretty rad actually, but as you might guess, with older people, sad things come. Like dying. I was in need of a good cry I guess 'cause once I got going there was no stopping, it seemed. And the rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You" was no help.

That's the other thing. My mood. I'm finding myself wanting to be more reclusive and that makes me nervous. I took a nap this afternoon and when I woke I was so groggy, I didn't want to go anywhere. I mean, not that I could, the doctor told me I cannot drive for another month. I forced myself to walk into town to run and errand.

Although I have booked another wedding to cover in September and someone has come forward with interest in me photographing the birth of their son in the fall, I am feeling like time is simultaneously passing me by and not moving at all.

I will be grateful when this not being able to move and being uncomfortable at all time business is in the past.